How to get through a divorce with kids.
June 6, 2008
If I could do it all over again-Lessons learned from my divorce.
Even though it has been over 13 years, I am still in and out of court over my older children with my ex. The lessons have been painful. If I could help one mother not go through what I have this was worth writing.
1. I would have gone to court first.
2. I would have made it a point to talk to his family and mine first about why I am leaving him.
3. I would have gotten an attorney-no matter how cheap, and asked for child support and alimony.
NO MATTER WHAT.
4. I would have put the kids in counseling early on.
5. I would have seeked out a Mother’s Rights attorney.
6. I would have established ground rules early on.
7. I would have never trusted his family.
8. I would have kept better track records or activities.
9. I would have moved in with family, or went to shelter-but not try to make it on my own in the beginning with three kids.
10. I would have never trusted him.
11. I would have taken him to court the second he broke the stipulation or order.
THINGS I KNOW NOW:
My attitude and Action are king.
How I respond or react is how the outcome will present itself.
Try to negotiate.
Stay calm.
Be understanding.
Offer your help, or assistance.
Say sorry.
August 13, 2009 at 8:02 pm
divorce with kids is always very difficult and most times involves the courts. It is very hard, in most cases. to ask angry, disappointed people to make reasonable decisions even if it involves the kids. New wives, new husbands or girlfriends almost always influence the ex’s relationships. The agenda’s have changed. What do you expect?
The info will help, however it will not eleminate the pain. That’s the consequence for devorce. You would think their would be less divorce with such severe consequences. Unfortunatkely nearly 50% of second marriages end in divorce. We must love pain.