Why women HATE.

If you are a woman, and you are reading this-you’re probably curious. Either you have experienced being hated or you are a hater.

Since I was a little girl, I have had just as many girls hate me as I have had woman love me. This was always a curious thing for me. Now, as I talk to my little 4 year old girl about how to deal with a girl in her class that calls her bad names, I think back. I have these talks with all my daughters, and I have four. Well, the baby I don’t have to yet.

Women are known by men to be ‘petty’ or ‘jelouse’ of other woman. I have had these conversations with them over the years. They do not seem to have this problem.

This could go back easily to human nature and survival. Women are in competition with each other to find the best mate, the strongest most viral male to procreate and continue their blood line. To have enough children to maintain their farms, to ensure a happy life into retirement. Whatever. Seriously it has all been so muddled over the years, women forget why they are in competition. After doing an informal study I have come to my own conclusions.

I have to first start with me. I was a hater too. Yes, first I had to look to me and take responsibility in this area. Was I hater? Did I ever hate? The truth is; yes. I had my reasons though and felt 100% justified. Here there are: 1) If I felt threatened that the woman would take my man. 2) If the woman did take my man. 3) If the woman had a life or opportunities I felt she didn’t deserve or appreciate. 4) If she looked better than I did, and I was trying to look like that. 5) If everyone including my man liked to be around her more than me. 6) If she was always happy & successful. 6) If I couldn’t make a difference in her life.

As painful and ugly as these were to write, they are the truth. I know that it may not be true to you reader, but I am sure you can come up with your own list. One thing I do know-it all stems from FRUSTRATION. My theory is that the woman hating is simply WANTING to have all those things. Wanting to be happy, pretty, successful, liked, peaceful, loved and admired, attractive to others to the degree that the other woman does.

This is not easy for women to admit. However, if the tables were turned and you were the one being hated-chances are you probably really want to be friends, or related to the other women. This is what men do. If they admire another man’s accomplishments, or character; they usually befriend them. They are smart. You hardly ever here a man say, “Oh, I hate him”. You laugh-maybe gay men do. But for the most part, men do not participate in this insane behavior. Women do. It makes us look so pathetically petty.

As I have gotten older and experienced over 30 years of being hated, hated for being smart or pretty, or too free, or too happy, or too in love, or too successful; I have come to the realization that I have to love my haters. Love the woman inside them screaming to come out to be able to have it all and admire other women who do. I think HATE is ADMIRATION spelled backwards. I think if woman can learn how to take this negative energy and turn it into positive, learn how spend time on improving themselves and stop trying to push the woman down besides them-women my have a chance in government, there may be more world leader. Women who stand together, work together, fight together, play together have a stronger message.

How can men respect women if all they see is petty jealousy and personal attacks? My life is about empowering women. I believe that my daughters watching me make friends with women who have despised me for years, or watching me reach out and love the women who have openly talked negatively about me sends them a message. A message that the Oprah’s, the Angelina’s, the Princess Diana’s, the Catherine Zeta Jone’s, the Hillary’s of the world got to where they are, not waiting for people to like them-but reaching out to the woman and pulling them up with them. And they still have haters, but until we learn how to tap into ourselves, and pull out our gems, focus on positivity-we will always be judging and pointing fingers, and staying small.

Women, we are the rocks. The foundations of life. We bring life, we raise children, we nurture we heal. Women who are selfish have not found their true potential. Have not released themselves from their own boundaries. Women who judge have not allowed themselves to be free and accept themselves fully-so how can they accept anyone else. If this article has made you cry-you are ready to stop this behavior and are ready to soar with the eagles and shine your light. Women who have been angered by this article are still looking to judge because you have not found your inner peace and allowed yourself to love. Women who don’t care, well I believe that having a world that works for everyone is not at stake for you-yet. But it can be.